You would think this post is about Covid but it's not, except for the last sentence. This is a post about suddenly realizing your on the downhill part of your life. I'm 58 this year and for some reason it's hit me hard. Suddenly I see all the things I didn't accomplish in my life:
Finding lasting love
Clean house
A career (although this one really doesn't bother me, but it should)
I never became a psychologist, which is what I always wanted to be. Too expensive so I thought being a bartender would get me those interactions. It did but also a lot of sad sad stories and drunk men wanting to date me. Which is probably why #1 never happened.
I feel like I didn't give my children the life they needed.
Right now I feel like I no longer can make a difference, like life is over somehow. I'm now old.
I've dated all the wrong men. All of them. They all had some kind of issue that made for a short term relationship. Why? They basically all had one or two of the same issues and I tolerated them for too long.
I hate my house and I wished I lived somewhere much smaller but my house now is too big to fix, so it falls apart around me.
I used to be the biggest Pollyanna in the world. The optimist, I was actually the president of the Optimist Club!
Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel like my life is over, I don't want to, I believe if you think something long enough it becomes reality!
Stupid Covid I've gained a lot of weight too!
